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READ MEBullying At School
When bullying happens at school, it’s hard to know how to help your child. Let’s explore what bullying is and what you can do as a parent.
Understanding bullying behaviour
No one deserves to be bullied or treated disrespectfully.
Here are some things to know about bullying behaviour:
- Bullying is a deliberate intention to harm somebody else
- The ‘bully’ may act alone or when there’s nobody around to witness it
- Bullying creates a power imbalance between the ’bully’ and the ‘bullied’
- Bullying happens through repeated acts and is not usually a single event
- Bullies may not have obvious ‘behavioural’ issues and they may have good social skills
- Typically boys engage in more physical types of bullying
- Typically girls engage in more verbal, emotional or social types of bullying
Signs that a child is being bullied
You might start to notice some changes in your child if they're being bullied. Each child responds differently to bullying. However here are some signs you can look out for as a parent:
Friendship breakups
‘Losing’ things at school
Withdrawing from others
Loss or increase in appetite
Cuts, bruises and/or marks on their skin
Ripped or stained school clothes
Avoiding school or social situations
Feeling stressed, anxious, depressed
Trouble sleeping, headaches and/or stomach aches
Lost interest in school work or grades suddenly drop
Talking about bullying with your child
If you’re worried that your child is being bullied you might want to try and fix the situation as soon as possible.
It’s a good idea to slow things down and try to understand their point of view by listening and letting them know you care before moving onto solutions.
Here are some tips to help:
- Talk regularly about school, their friendships and anything that might be troubling them
- Ask them directly if they're being bullied and let them know you want to work together to help stop it
- Discuss your own experiences of being bullied and how you got through it
- Talk about the importance of not bullying back as this can make the situation worse
- Build them up by focusing on their strengths and what makes them a good person
- Encourage them to call Kids Helpline and talk to a counsellor about their worries and to get ideas on what might help them cope
Working with your child to stop bullying
Your first instinct as a parent might be to step in and take action on your child’s behalf. But your child might disagree about what action to take or they might not want you to do anything at all.
Each child is different and so what works for one child might not work for another.
Here are some suggestions you can offer your child if they are being bullied. It can help to try all of the strategies at once.
- Talk to an adult they trust eg. teacher, Principal, school counsellor
- Try and make friends with positive and supportive peers
- Get support from friends, family members or a counsellor
- Get involved in hobbies or sports so they can meet different peer groups
- Tell the bully what they are doing is not ok (if safe to do so) eg. "I don’t like that and I want you to stop"
- Try to diffuse the situation like making a joke
- Keep their distance from the bully
- Don’t bully the person back as that can make things worse
What you can do as a parent
If you are still concerned that your child is being bullied it may be time to take further action.
Some options to consider might be:
- Keep a record of the incidents
- Report it to the school
- Seek legal advice
- Contact the Police
- Contact the Department of Education
- Report cyberbullying
Supporting your child through bullying can be tough
Bullying happens to many kids at some point in their life. Knowing the best way to support your child isn’t always easy though!
Bullying can be a complex problem and there is sometimes no simple solution.
If you’ve tried lots of options and are struggling to know how else to support your child, we can help you look at different strategies. Give us a call on 1300 30 1300 (QLD & NT).
Or you can call Parentline in your local state or territory and they can advise you on what the next steps might be.
This content was last reviewed 09/05/2018
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